Albus' Reasons Why Annoying Wizard Parents is Bad
by cat.cruz93
Summary: James angers and insults his father and Lily gets addicted to "Whip My Hair" annoying Harry. Albus humbly watches as Harry gets pay back.
1. Chapter 1

**_Albus' Reasons for Why You Shouldn't Annoy Your Wizard Parents with Muggle things_**

**_i believe this started during lunch a couple days ago, some annoying kid walked up and said "'sup Brah" and an idea popped into my head and later that day i imagined quite a hilarious sight but you find out what that was in the next chapter. anyway i wrote it to be simply humorous. hope you enjoy it!_**

**_disclaimer: the characters belong to Jk Rowling _**

_Albus POV_

It started with James, James and his minions, (all the male cousins, naturally Little Brother Al isn't included). "Later, Brah." James said to Louis and Freddie as we walked to our "Super Wicked" flying mustang, courtesy of Gran Dad. "See ya Dude!" "Later!" the Weasley boys replied running off to find their fathers. "May I ask why you just referred to your cousins as female underwear?" Dad asked as he unlocked the door, James plopped in the front seat, Lily and I were left to the back with the owls. Lily and I giggled, James rolled his eyes, "You wouldn't understand Dad, because your too lame." The numbskull replied with a smirk. Dad muttered the entire way home, then talked to Mum for about five minutes before retiring to his study for the night in a dark mood. Just so you all know, if you live with my father (as if you need reminding of who that is) you can feel his moods, they just ooze all over the house, it's not pleasant to say the least.

James was fiddling with his muggle pocket-owl, you know that strange contraption you all call a cellophane or something like that. Where he got one I don't know, maybe the convenience store down the road. It reminded Lily of what James had said earlier to Dad. "Mummy, James called Daddy lame!" she said, James made a face and mimicked her, "Mummy, dames cawed Daddy wame!" I rolled my eyes and helped Kreature with the dishes. "Shut Up!" "Shu' Up!" "MUUUUM!" "MUUUUUUUM!"

"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER SHUT YOUR MOUTH RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Mum bellowed from the stove. I chuckled with Kreature at the immediate silence that followed. "Mum, he also called Freddie and Louis Bras." Lily said innocently, James glared at her with a fury that would have killed her on the spot if looks could kill. Mum laughed aloud at that then turned to face the table, "Now why on earth would anyone want to be called that, in public?" she asked fighting the laughing back. "It's a muggle thing, Mum, the American Wizards do it all the time!" James said blushing furiously. "Oh and do we follow the American Wizards James?" she asked sternly her wooden spoon poised in a smacking position. "N-no, mum…." He whispered. "What was that James?"

"No, Mum, We don't." he replied loudly, glaring at Lily, I snickered and turned back to the sink. "Kreature would like to thank young Master Potter." The old house elf said handing me a plate he was too short to put away, "No problem Kreature, Dad wants us to learn how to take care of ourselves, You know?" the house elf nodded, "Master Harry is a generous man. He has raised you well." I smiled at the aged elf, he could be kinda rude I guess but to be honest, I love the little elf.

**Two Months Later :**

Uncle Ron and Dad had been discussing things in secret all summer, and now we were at the platform waiting for Uncle Ron and his family. Dad saw the tall red haired man strolling towards us with a shorter brunette woman and two auburn haired children following closely behind. "'Sup Brah?" he yelled to Uncle Ron, who smiled and replied "'Sup HP!" and they did the strangest hug I have ever seen, it involved a handshake. Hugo, James, Freddie (who had joined us at this point) and Louis (who had also joined us) gaped their mouths open in shock; James' hazel eyes were wide with anger. "No! Dad! Dad! What are you doing? Dad stop!" he yelled trying to separate them. It didn't work, they bantered in American slang for about ten more minutes. James seethed in anger glaring at Dad. "What's wrong James? I thought you said I was lame, I wanted to "get with the times, small fry" is it so bad for your Dad to be cool?" Dad asked with a glimmer in his eyes and small satisfied smirk on his face. James huffed and rolled his eyes, "Come let's go find a seat." He said grabbing Hugo and Freddie's shoulders Louis followed closely behind. Rosie grabbed my arm and steered me toward the train, "What was that about?" she asked being the Nosy Rosie she was. "James did that last summer at the end of term to his mates and then proceeded to call Dad lame." I replied throwing her and my trunk up on to the racks.

"Is James mental, Uncle Harry is the epitome of Cool, Popular, Tight as the Americans would say." She rambled on, "I get it Rose! Dad's cool, James is just a Dunderhead." I said shutting her up for about five seconds. "When isn't James a Dunderhead?" "Did I say he was behaving like one?" "No" "that's right I said he was one." Rose rolled her bright blue eyes and opened the only book she hadn't read yet for our year. And we set off for another year at Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Albus' Reasons Why Annoying Your Wizard Parents is Bad_**

**_So just think about this Lily likes catchy, but annoying song+an annoyed chaperone Harry and Hermione+a Halloween Ball= embarassment. Harry's acting like his father in this chapter read, review enjoy_**

**_Disclaimer: Jk Rowling's character_**

**_Chapter 2_**

Aunt Hermione liked to introduce us to Muggle things like Cell Phones (yes I finally remembered what they are called), and Television and Movies. She called it "Giving the wizarding children a well rounded education." Or something like that. Well, one day she introduced Lily to the "world wide web" or the in-ter-net I believe it's called for short. Lily loved it, to this day James and I still cannot figure it out. She found this site called Youtube, where you could look up music videos and stuff. Well, Lily found a video that she liked and she played it all summer long, the song was called "Whip my hair." Why anyone would want to destroy their neck that way I have no clue.

That year at Hogwarts, we were having a Halloween Ball, both Dad and Aunt Hermione were chaperoning, I guess they needed more chaperones or something. Dad had enough of that bloody song (okay to be honest we all were, except for Lily because Lily doesn't get sick of anything) and he told Aunt Hermione that and well they planned something all right. So I'm all dressed up as…guess…come on its easy….that's right my dad. I'm going to the Ball that Harry Potter is chaperoning, dressed up as him. It's to draw attention away from him, trust me he knows. Anyway, Dad and James are dressing up as James Potter the first and Sirius Black, Dad is Sirius because Mum let only him grow out his hair. James is James…well that was a mind blowing experience wasn't it? Oh and Teddy is coming just to complete the Marauders, He's dressing up as his dad. Yes our group is quite original I know…but we work with what we've got. Anyway, so we are all in the great hall and I see Sirius Black chatting with Rowena Ravenclaw (Aunt Hermione) and I think to myself _Why must Dad be so good at__ disguises?_ Then I see James stroll up behind them in one of Dad's Auror Robes with Grandpa James' glasses on…okay they aren't the real thing but we found a pair that James could use. His date is dressed up as Granma Lily, Dad nearly fell over at the sight of her, I chuckled deeply as brunette Rosie strolled up to me with a ginger Scorpius in toe, yep we're the "Golden Trio". "So Lily isn't too happy with James' girlfriend, she wanted to be Lily Evens." Rosie said to me with a bit of a smirk. I looked at her then busted out laughing, "I can handle James dressing up as my costume's father, but my little sister cannot be my mother I refuse."I said, Scorpius laughed and rolled his eyes. "So Mr. Potter where's you're Ginny Weasley?" Rosie asked punching me in the arm. "She's coming, she's coming." I replied in my best interpretation of my father, he had a bit of a welsh accent. Emmy Longbottom came into the room, with a Holyshead Harpies uniform on and her normally blonde hair, now a bright Weasley red pulled into a high ponytail and brown freckles covered her normally freckle less skin. She smiled and in a very Mum like manor ran up to me and kissed me on the cheek. Just then a song that I wanted to die..yes that song….the one I mentioned earlier….started playing and I hear James and Teddy bust up with laughter and I turn back to my Dad and Aunt just in time to see them do the exact same dance on the youtube video. _Oh dear_ I thought as I turned to see my sister (who dressed up as red riding hood) fuming and glaring right at Dad but that wasn't all that happened, "Really?" Scorpius said and I say that Mr. Malfoy (Where he had come from I don't know) started dancing with them, Lily was traumatized. As soon as the song was over Dad sat down near where Lily was standing, he got a bit dizzy. "How could you?" Lily asked storming over to him, he smiled and told her to sit down. "Lily, I love you, but honey….don't ever play that song again." He said with a soft smile. James and Teddy came over and high –fived Dad "Nicely done, Pad foot!" James said playfully, "Why thank you Prongs! And I must say Ms. Ravenclaw is quite a dancer." He said causing Aunt Hermione to blush. "Oh Shut up!" she said playfully hitting him on the arm. Mr. Malfoy came over to our little group, "I must say Potter that was the most fun I've had alongside a Muggleborn and a Half-blood in…..well forever." He said smirking at Dad, Aunt Hermione rolled her eyes and looked away, "Maybe, Malfoy, you should get out of your comfort zone more often." Dad replied returning the smirk. "Maybe I should…I'll think about that, Happy Halloween everyone." And with that Scorpius' father was gone. Scorpius shook his head and looked down, "I've never been so embarrassed in my life." The blonde (currently ginger) boy mumbled. James coughed causing Scorpius to look up, "Just be glad your father didn't mimic American slang, in front of the _entire_ _**wizarding**_ **WORLD**!" James said. Dad rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Good point, I guess it could be worse, my dad could have swaggered out of here." Scorp said cheerfully, "Are you kidding, Scorpius, Draco Malfoy doesn't swagger he struts." Dad said, Scorpius frowned "No, my dad doesn't strut! Does he?" he looked at me as he said this. "Um…..yes actually he does." I said meekly. Everyone laughed at this, okay mainly Scorp's face as he realized this but still. All in all it ended up being a great night.


End file.
